Slave Strength to fight PTSD

This week on Facebook, I shared a post about struggling with my PTSD. It took me almost 30 minutes to be able to go into my home last night and then it took active support from three people to help get me to where I was able to do some self care actions that I needed to do.

Thank goodness I have learned to reach out and ask for help when I need it. The shaking and fear took longer to fade but it did as I reminded myself and again that I was indeed safe.

Thank you all for witnessing and seeing me during my fight. And thank you for those who sent me support via messanger as well.

I did win this round and was able to use my tools. One tool being, no longer being silent when things come up. So here I am sharing my story.

One of the tools I used was reaching out to a friend who is also a Master and asking them to tell me to “do the thing” I did this because when chatting with another friend for support I realized that I didn’t have the added strength of obedience to fall back on. But that wasn’t entirely true. I maybe self-owned currently but I have a very large and supportive community. If the Master I reached out to wasn’t available, there are many more I could have asked and would have.

I didn’t have to go beyond the first Master because they responded to my request with “do the thing and tell me when you are done”

So I was able to use slave strength. The strength of surrender, even just in that moment, and the strength of obedience to help combat the PTSD and do the things I needed to do.

Being a slave does not mean we are weak. It’s a strength not everyone understands. It’s the strength of honesty; it’s the strength of transparency; it’s the strength of trusting another and it’s the strength of surrender.

I am a slave. I am strong. I am surrender.

#PTSD_sucks
#xiaoyi_slaveheartbootblack
#slave_strength

xiaoyi