I have been asked how to negotiate scenes and what I do to have the fun scenes I have. Well I often have these with me at conferences. And I don’t always use them but I figured I would share the xiaoyi-Scene Negotiation Starting Point List. I have also gone through and added comments on […]
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Yesterday, I did challenging thing. I told a Master I love and adore “no”. As a slave, this is a very difficult thing for me to do. We had been texting and flirting all day. A part of me was really hoping he would propose that we connect last night and move into play. […]
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When I was a child, nothing was hard. Everything I tried to do, I did. I worked at it, I played at it but I didn’t understand the concept that something was hard or that I couldn’t do it. Now that I am an adult, I commonly hear people say a certain activity, a certain […]
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Years ago my grandmother use to tell me “what’s right isn’t easy and what is easy is seldom right.” I took this to heart early on in life until I was diagnosed with fibro. Then I spent all my energies on figuring out how to cope with and control the condition as much as possible. […]
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Sacrifices. People like to talk about the sacrifices of Master/slave relationships all the time. The things they have sacrificed to be a Master or a slave. They like to talk about what it is they have given up in choosing to walk this path. Here is a list of a few of the things I […]
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Please try this experiment fit me: instead of deserving nice things, indulge in them. One of the challenges I have seen many face in this life is entitlement. For slaves entitlement is “extremely unbecoming” because it is a sign of ego and often seen as a lack of will alignment. For Masters and Dominates, it […]
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What communication and transparency means to me. All too often in the M/s community I hear “communication is the key to successful relationships” or “transparency is the key” I have seldom heard the follows up question for these statements though. “What does communication/transparency mean to you?” So I’m order to try and get the […]
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In a previous relationship, when I was dating a poly Master, I faced this challenge. I love the Master deeply and passionately and I wanted to get to know him more. However, there is a hiccup. He and his current slave both speak the same love language, not surprising since they have made it 8 […]
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In the past two weekends, I have had a ton of fun in my bootblacking world. First was attending Behind Closed Doors 9, a fun event in Tucson. We probably had a half dozen bootblacks on site and there was some lovely leather. One gentleman knows how to flirt with this bootblack as he came […]
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I was dating someone who I had hopes of building a long term relationship with. But there was one thing that went very wrong. Perhaps it is common in poly for this to go wrong. Here’s what I learned: If you have a relationship, heck even a friendship with someone and there are problems or […]
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