Negotiations a Starting Point

I have been asked how to negotiate scenes and what I do to have the fun scenes I have.  Well I often have these with me at conferences.  And I don’t always use them but I figured I would share the xiaoyi-Scene Negotiation Starting Point List. I have also gone through and added comments on […]

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Easy or Right

Years ago my grandmother use to tell me “what’s right isn’t easy and what is easy is seldom right.”  I took this to heart early on in life until I was diagnosed with fibro.  Then I spent all my energies on figuring out how to cope with and control the condition as much as possible. […]

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Sacrifices?

Sacrifices.  People like to talk about the sacrifices of Master/slave relationships all the time.  The things they have sacrificed to be a Master or a slave.  They like to talk about what it is they have given up in choosing to walk this path.  Here is a list of a few of the things I […]

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Refusing to Deserve

Please try this experiment fit me: instead of deserving nice things, indulge in them.  One of the challenges I have seen many face in this life is entitlement.  For slaves entitlement is “extremely unbecoming” because it is a sign of ego and often seen as a lack of will alignment.  For Masters and Dominates, it […]

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What is communication and transparency?

What communication and transparency means to me.   All too often in the M/s community I hear “communication is the key to successful relationships” or “transparency is the key” I have seldom heard the follows up question for these statements though. “What does communication/transparency mean to you?” So I’m order to try and get the […]

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Love Language Mismatch

In a previous relationship, when I was dating a poly Master, I faced this challenge. I love the Master deeply and passionately and I wanted to get to know him more.  However, there is a hiccup.  He and his current slave both speak the same love language, not surprising since they have made it 8 […]

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A Brief Update on my October

In the past two weekends, I have had a ton of fun in my bootblacking world.  First was attending Behind Closed Doors 9, a fun event in Tucson.  We probably had a half dozen bootblacks on site and there was some lovely leather.  One gentleman knows how to flirt with this bootblack as he came […]

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Bumps, bruises and building blocks

I was dating someone who I had hopes of building a long term relationship with. But there was one thing that went very wrong. Perhaps it is common in poly for this to go wrong. Here’s what I learned: If you have a relationship, heck even a friendship with someone and there are problems or […]

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