I’m not PC and neither is my Leather

I am very curious when the leather community became so obsessed with being PC. Aren’t our roots in being sexual rebels. In extreme authenticity of the self, regardless of what is acceptable by society? Especially our sexual selves. Perhaps I have bought too much into a “romanticized” view of the mythical “old guard” era. Maybe […]

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Negotiations a Starting Point

I have been asked how to negotiate scenes and what I do to have the fun scenes I have.  Well I often have these with me at conferences.  And I don’t always use them but I figured I would share the xiaoyi-Scene Negotiation Starting Point List. I have also gone through and added comments on […]

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Easy or Right

Years ago my grandmother use to tell me “what’s right isn’t easy and what is easy is seldom right.”  I took this to heart early on in life until I was diagnosed with fibro.  Then I spent all my energies on figuring out how to cope with and control the condition as much as possible. […]

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Sacrifices?

Sacrifices.  People like to talk about the sacrifices of Master/slave relationships all the time.  The things they have sacrificed to be a Master or a slave.  They like to talk about what it is they have given up in choosing to walk this path.  Here is a list of a few of the things I […]

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Refusing to Deserve

Please try this experiment fit me: instead of deserving nice things, indulge in them.  One of the challenges I have seen many face in this life is entitlement.  For slaves entitlement is “extremely unbecoming” because it is a sign of ego and often seen as a lack of will alignment.  For Masters and Dominates, it […]

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What is communication and transparency?

What communication and transparency means to me.   All too often in the M/s community I hear “communication is the key to successful relationships” or “transparency is the key” I have seldom heard the follows up question for these statements though. “What does communication/transparency mean to you?” So I’m order to try and get the […]

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Love Language Mismatch

In a previous relationship, when I was dating a poly Master, I faced this challenge. I love the Master deeply and passionately and I wanted to get to know him more.  However, there is a hiccup.  He and his current slave both speak the same love language, not surprising since they have made it 8 […]

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